just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
