weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
