I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
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