Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
