Fuck appropriateness.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
