I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
