you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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