I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize