We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
