And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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