How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
