More tranny stories later!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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