Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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