What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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