I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
