I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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