remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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