It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
