Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
