please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You're like the curious george of whores
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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