Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
