She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
