well I can't set my house on fire every night
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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