FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
