I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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