He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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