i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
