Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
