I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
