Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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