I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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