therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
