you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
