Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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