I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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