I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm always down for nudity.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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