Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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