FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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