We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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