So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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