so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
