I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
