i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
