I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
