Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
