ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
A bitchslap is in order.
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