I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
