I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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