There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
