i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I wear drunk well.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
