Is it normal to miss your booty call?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
