OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
