The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
