If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
