...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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