Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
