wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
