You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
