Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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