I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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