I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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