"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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